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There were loud voices as Haghuf approached the side cavern where the human scent drew him. The pathetic whimpers from the prisoner alternated with attempts at bravado and insistence that he must be presented to someone in charge. Both drew only contemptuous jeering and prodding with sharp instruments from his captors. One such elicited a sharp yelp from the human just as Haghuf entered through the arched rock which served as an opening to the chamber.
     The man alternately fought his bindings and tried to appear aggressive to the goblins, as much as a captive with arms and legs bound might do. He puffed out his chest, shouting threats one moment and in the next he would shrink from the prodding, looking pathetic. Haghuf had little taste for such sport, and had just about decided to retreat quietly and leave them to it when the human suddenly saw him standing in the arch, quiet and still as the stone.
     ‘You! Are you the leader here?’ shouted the man with all the authority he could muster. Haghuf didn’t answer right away. Slowly, he strolled towards the man, looking at him curiously as if he had never seen such a creature before. In truth, he had seen very few in his lifetime. He preferred to keep it that way.
     Everything in the room seemed to stop as Haghuf examined the prisoner, crouching down slowly to look him in the eye as was the custom among goblins when engaging an enemy. The human’s chest heaved with quick, shallow breaths. He licked his lips nervously, caught up in the moment of suspense while he waited for an answer. Haghuf turned his head to look at the creature sideways, first one way then the other. Then at last he spoke in his low, gravely voice, slowly and deliberately in the man’s own tongue.
     ‘We have no leader. We are all one kind here.’
     The human’s eyes darted from one goblin to another. His expression exposed his utter bewilderment at the concept of a leaderless race.
     ‘But surely someone must be in charge?’ he cried, almost desperately. Haghuf again took his time in answering.
     ‘We are not like you. We do not glory in having power over our own kind.’ Haghuf turned to walk away. Then as an afterthought added over his shoulder, ‘or imagining that we do.’
     ‘What shall we do with him?’ shouted one of the goblins.
     ‘Kill him,’ Haghuf answered flatly just as he passed back through the arch.
     Haghuf chuckled to himself as he walked out of the side cavern. It didn’t matter to him whether the goblins behind him took his suggestion or not.
©2004-2009 ~JaqDHawkins
:iconjaqdhawkins:

Author's Comments

Excerpt from the first book in my goblin series, Dance of the Goblins.

Updated now that the novel has gone to print and the editing process is blissfully finished. I don't remember if there were any changes on this bit, but I thought I would update it just to be sure.

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:iconantonchanning:
Ah well, I already commented on this when you posted it originally. I guess you had to repost it due to the original not being correctly paragraphed.

As I said before, I am at a little advantage over everyone else here, because I proof-read your whole book, and so know the context of this passage. It will be interesting to hear feedback from someone who has only seen this extract, to see if it is enough to give an impression of the world this story takes place in, and the kind of people that inhabit it.

--
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:iconpaulhopkins:
This was intense, would love to see more of the story.
:iconjaqdhawkins:
Thanks, this was the scene that started the whole series for me. I've finished the first novel and am shopping for an agent now.
:icondernachtritter:
You know, this is different from the goblins I read about in most fantasy litterature. Leaderless goblins, it's just as new to me as it is unbelievable to that prisoner. :) I thought that goblin bands usually had a leader, the strongest one of the pack.

Not that it is a bad thing though, elves in Riftwar books (if I remember correctly) were warlike and had beards, among other things, just as the different fantasy races in Shannara books were descended from present-time humans after a world-devastating war. So it's interesting to see new interpretations of old stuff. :)
:iconjaqdhawkins:
That's part of the idea. To present a society that is very different from what human superstitions have built up in their ignorance, and tell it from the goblin's perspective to a alrge extent. :)

There is some pretty intense stuff in the book, but I don't want to put too much on the internet until publication is at hand. I will be doing some short stories though, for some of the Goblin Pages projects that I'm working on.
:iconvirangelus:
Hmm, it could be me but

"he pathetic whimpers from the prisoner alternated with attempts at bravado and insistence that he must be presented to someone in charge"

confused the shiznip out of me... at first I thoguht the goblins though he had to be brought to someone in charge because he was being trouble. When I reread, I realized that the human was whimpewring, and sometimes demnading to be brought to someone in charge. I'm not sure if it was just me that read it wrong though, so I would leave it if no one else said anything.

I like this. It's the point of view from the race that is usually described as so meanial that they are not worth paying attenting ot in most stories, save as villians or pathetic. So that is a very nice idea, through the eyes of the goblin. But what do your goblins look like though? My own goblins have little noses and wide mouths with large grins and teeth, and horns. They are sometimes mistaken for big gremlins (something that only a human could mistake for of course).

Some of your setnences get a lil' long but it's not too much a problem. Just something that if you keep in subconscious mind, it will fix itself.

--
Art defines our reality, who we are, where we are going, as how sad defines happy... --It is our counter-existance.
:iconjaqdhawkins:
There are a wide variety of goblins that range from pretty to the classic ugly ones, and a lot of unexpected types.

The premise is that they are all actually descended from humans over many millions of years when pockets of humans have been caught underground by world cataclysms, and those who survived adapted and evolved. All the races of fairies, mermaids, and everythng else are jusy species of goblins, and there are cross breeds from different types with older histories.

They're quite fun to aprty with actually. :)
:iconvirangelus:
Lol! Very good idea! They're all seperate in my world, but that has got to be a very winning idea. Hope it goes far. Which gobins are these in the excerpt?

--
Art defines our reality, who we are, where we are going, as how sad defines happy... --It is our counter-existance.
:iconjaqdhawkins:
Haghuf is a Deep Dweller, one of the older species. The group tormenting the human are mostly Betweeners, those who are closer to human than anyone else both genetically and geographically. Some of them go to the surface on occasion, and because they are closer to the surface anyone wandering into the caverns is likely to be captured by them. Talla is a bit different than other betweeners, as is shown by her white hair and eyes. The others tend to be dark haired with yellow eyes. The reason for this is explained in the story, but I don't want to spoil that bit.

The Betweeners and Deep Dwellers mix a fair bit, but all goblins have trouble breeding. Children are rare and treasured. Cross breeding between species helps this a bit.

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